Walking In The Sun

I don't look back

In the eye of my vices or reveries

My ghosts and my fantasies

They were all left to die

I opened my sore eyes

I opened them myself

To see there was nothing

brighter than the truth

Unrepentant as it is

As I set myself free

And my spirit is set loose

I seek no absolution

I seek no defense

I'll never be justified

I want to feel the wind

I want to start again

I'm meant to see the light

I don't have to hide 

I don't have to lie

I don't have to run 

I just want to be the one

who's walking in the sun

I don't trade

with deceivers and foes  

For my blood and my bones

No matter how hard they try

I won't take love as a bribe

You could never afford it

And we'll both starve

The truth which won't bend

For it is still unrepentant

I won't go back in the dark

Smokescreen

We both lost in life

And fell in love in a time

Of distraction, greed

and recreational lies

Facades and veiled smut

You became a snob

I became a slut

Both seeking something

to sink our teeth in

Bounded by fetishes

of what the truth can't be

Saying what they want to hear

Blaming the silence 

for being ruthlessly loud

So all you do is dance around

While they don't care 

And they don't care at all

In a smokescreen

Is it you or a reflection

A disguise or a projection

In a smokescreen

Can you say in a blur

was she me was I her

In a smokescreen

We're both lost in a maze

And my eyes still ache

from the tear gas and climax

and relentless heartbreak

The naked leads the blind

Liars gloats and toasts

As the stoic writhes

Sat on a stepping stone

with the word sex etched on

They can't hear you screaming

From your echo chamber

Through moans and shambles

Dodging the shards

Of beauty and disbelief

They all steal and cheat

And lie to your face

Yet you keep blaming me

You can't numb everyone

with orgasms and promises

We're all angels and demons

Saints, mortals and heros

no longer playing by the rules

So if I knew that all it took 

was cheating, stealing 

deceiving and lying to you

You just had to tell me to

Let them cover their eyes

Let them feign their grace

Let them play the fool

Let them play the game

Forget Me

You purge and exorcize

And purify the darkest halls

You abuse your faith 

holding on to anything at all

And beg til your knees bleed

At night he calls my name

So often, so much, so loud

You too started calling for me

In every broken mirror

You see me looking back at you

Your lips, hips and chest

The illusion I believed too

The freedom that won't set you free

Time is long, truth is elastic

They all are so jealous and cruel

They overlook your misery

You want me gone 

but you never let me go

I can go wherever I want to

With a whole eternity to waste

To restart, restore or mistake

Set me free from the mercy

and the strength of the weak

When you find out what this is

Please just forget me

You scroll for stranger's faces

As if they'll save you from silence

That speaks loud for itself

Before they can hear its cadence

And the curses in your prayers

Yet he calls my name

But you simply learned to love

and forgive your betrayer

The roars of the chasm

Between what you want the most

And all that you get to be

As pale echoes come and go

Telling you what he dare not say

Truth is frail, time is elastic

And it distracts you with ghosts

While he destroy and subjugates

He keeps killing me after I'm dead 

but he never let me go 

I Really Don't Dance Around Much Anymore

I was there with all I had

With poems and silent prayers

Ready to get my heart eaten whole

There was nothing I wanted more

Shaky hands, stars in my eyes

Open wide to a brand new world

You could hear my every heartbeat

Like sirens in new york city

In a numbing epiphany

A soothing suffering

Will you drop everything

and remember me like this

In the light of a burning room

Or just the bright of the moon

Though I don't dance around much

anymore I'd go out dancing with you

All eyes on us, all eyes on us

I saw illusion as resolution

As any inescapable crave

Written all over the biggest skies

It was just a dream, but it was mine

I could write many sad songs

About where I was that spring

It was raining, it was 2013 and

I wanted you to love me again

It's like it's been just a daydream

Someone had in their late teens

And fear is just a pale reverie

And overcome all the way

I'll walk with you as the past fades

So will you dance with me

Love Bomb

Convince me I'm wanting

and I want something from you

And there's nothing I can do

I'm just playing with the idea

of slipping into the temptation

of seeking my redemption

Cause I have nothing to do

I look at you while you daydream

With your vows and everything

You think you'll leave unscathed

Entertained seeing through you

Playing of who is fooling who

Until we go beyond the pale

Say I'm the need you needed

And my heart is the reward

You'll lie and cheat to win

Scream it from the rooftops

To the infinite lights glistening

We're in love with the promises

We'll break one by one

Just set off your love bomb

Use my desire against me

as a sharp knife held to my neck

Make me say what I've never said

My mind is full of eulogies

And sexy fantasies of desilusion

Lost in greed and confusion

And we play them in our bed

You look at me as I dissociate

I nod, I laugh and contemplate

All that I know it'll never be

My disbelief, your feign charm

Hidden riddles in our scars

Telling fairy tales of tragedy

Say fuck, try your luck

I'm at the reach of your touch

We know how good it hurts

If it feels anything like hell

To burn, to beat or to bruise

Just ignite the fuse

Let’s destroy everything 

See You On The Other Side

Lift up your head and tell me

with thousand suns looking at us

from million years ago

Does in your ears the bells say

Can you hear it as you look at me

For thousand years or so

We've been on our knees

Begging and wishing it all away

The sadness we can't negotiate

The loneliness of the worst kind

Cause the world won't stop

for our delusions and heartbreaks

Our truces and earthquakes

There are no bargains or alibis

See you on the other side

Let luck take care of itself

If fate catches up with time

See you on the other side

When we're both absolved

From passion and from vice

Don't you cry for me

And for what will never be

Cause you can't bend life

into what it used to be

You sealed your fate

now I'm sealing mine

Don't call my name

I see you on the other side

Come take my hand and tell me

with thousand oceans between us

at the mercy of the moon

Does in your heart a sudden quiver

Can you feel it as you walk away

and you can't make good

It's been a long time coming

I want to reclaim a part of my soul 

Long abandoned in a world of old

It lies waiting to be gotten back

I won't be yielded by blind hope

in a saving grace of a bad love

Or wait until we both go mad

Someday when you'll be out there

And I'll be at fanfares with flowers

in my hair

When you look at me you'll know

what you're looking at

With all signs hidden where 

they may be found

Someday when I'll be out there

And you won't be sad anymore

See you on the other side

When we're both cats 

Pixie Dream

I'm half your age, half your weight

I'm amused by the headlights

while your hands are all over me

Hang me on every word you say

And just let me there to dry

For your whole life if you need

Glorify me, tear me down

You have seen me in many faces

And you see me all around

As you paint me like a fantasy

Give it all, take it away

Keep me in a safe distance

I'll destroy you in the best ways

But I'll destroy you ruthlessly

Don't blink your eyes

You waited your whole life

For something that would

feel as raving as this

Let me love you

Like you always wanted to 

Or as much as I could

as a feverish reverie

Let me be the first

the last and then nothing

as a maniac pixie dream

I'm a ghost, I am yours

I'm what you're entitled to

And I'd never let you get away

Just go and toss me some words

And I promise to believe you

And forge the perfect dreamscape

You say you know me

as your brand new lease on life

Whatever you think that means

And your permission is all I need

I'm the thought you play around

To forgive and forget yourself

While you can't find a way out

of your self made misery

Tell me I opened your eyes

as I cultivate stars in mine

I wouldn't want anything more

I never wanted to die for you

But you know I probably would

If that meant true love